| turning 30 |
[17 Nov 2008|08:46pm] |
so yesterday was my birthday and was down because most of my friends forgot about it. the one person who I thought would forget my dad, called me more times yesterday than he has this whole year. Casce sent me an email about me skipping out on my bday beatings, but I didn't even know about watching the fight at sham's. I hardly get the invites these days. I know I live in san marcos, but always drive to austin. I move back to austin next week. so this is me saying woe is me. birthdays are a big deal to me. rob drove up last night to help my birthday in on a good note.
I can't wait to move and have a bigger place. Rachael is excited about moving and teaching in pflugerville. I think I might go back to school and finish up my degree so I can teach and coach track/xc. I can't seem to find my nitch....ever since I got let go of at runtex, I can't seem to find a job that catches my interest. I know there is no such thing as a perfect job and all have there bs. I will just keep looking.
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| things happen for reasons |
[27 Feb 2008|12:00am] |
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I offically don't work for runtex anymore. I got let go of today. My boss told me he is going to pay me threw march. I am kinda freaking out, but my boss is also gonna help me find another job. I've been at runtex like 8yrs, but like Paul said today he wants me to move onto something better. Thanks to Dan for keeping me cool. I think this is a good thing. Also, on another note I found someone amazing and treats me awesome and my friends like her which is a plus.
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| time to change |
[14 Oct 2007|11:31pm] |
i have been fighting off allergies since wed. my allergies have turned into an infection. i was so sick sat that i didnt go to work. i slept most of the day and decided to go and watch football with my boys. college football is crazy this year. a little school called south florida is #2...crazy. i watched lsu and cal lose this weekend. i think it is up in the air as to who will play for the national championship. i'm still feeling blah today, but watched football with the guys. i brought the guys tequila that i got in cobo san lucas....that stuff kicked dan and cody in the ass!!! then went over to rob's to watch more football. man adrain peterson is playing awesome(rookie of the year in my book) and hester yet again another return TD. the pats kicked the cowboys ass...oh well. love talking football with the guys.
i think it is time to buy all new stuff for my apt. it doesn't feel like my home. i guess because i have never giving it a chance. i redid my bathroom. now it is time to get new living room and bedroom furniture. the stuff i have was picked out and compromised. now i need to new stuff. so i have started looking for new bedding stuff and decorate it the way i want. i need to find a person that will go house shopping with me.
i want to start going fishing with casce. george, dan and i need to get on the ball with spurs tickets. george is looking into package deals. i also want to go to a cowboys or texans game. hopefully i can get enough tickets to take my boys to the nebraska/ut for my bday. lots of things i want to do and need to start getting on the ball.
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| jack n dierks |
[12 Oct 2007|03:55pm] |
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well today i woke up sick as hell like i have been for the last two days. i tried to get up to get shit done but my body said screw you. tonight libby and i are going to see dierks and jack ingram in concert at stubbs. should be pretty bad ass. if its done early enought, i will be headed to the cave. i took casce to lunch for his birthday today. we might start going fishing soon. i am totally down for some fishing. we were talking about hunting and i was getting excited cuz one more month for hunting season. i need to take dan and casce to the ranch. so i have been still doing my research on being a fire fighter and think i have made up my mind. cant wait for sun to see the cowboys and pats game...yipee!!! hope to see everyone this weekend....storm i vote for you to cook fajitas.
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| take me there |
[07 Oct 2007|03:04pm] |
well its been a while....I have been up to nothing except working. I am thinking about a career change (been saying that for a while). I am looking into being a fire fighter. I know what some of ya'll are thinking....what the hell. Some people have told me they didnt think I could do it, but I think I can.
I now work at the north store in the gateway shopping center and love it. There is no drama there and I love the people I work with. We have so much fun everyday.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about my friends. I know who my true friends are and grateful to have each and every one of them in my life. We might not hang out as often as I would like, but we all know we are always here for one another. So I just want to let everyone know ya'll are my boys and gurl....love you all....this is a really gay blog oh well.
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| moving.... |
[06 Jul 2007|01:17pm] |
tomorrow i finally have a place to live and my own bed to sleep in...yipee!!! tonight is marcus' bday party...cant wait for that. my good friend libby has been in town and i am so happy i have hung out with her everyday.
so that shit i had on my thumb a while back is coming back. i have been feeling slugish....and the bumbs are forming again. going to see if the doc will call in the same prescription. i'm glad it isnt raining today.
back to work i go.
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| relaxin on vacation |
[28 Jun 2007|12:08pm] |
well i finally turned in my keys to my old apt. i was glad to finally get that over wit. now i have to wait til next sat to move in to my new place. thanks to cody and storm(dan) for letting me shower. once again dan and i moved all my stuff....thanks alot!!! i headed out of town yesterday on vacation and hitting the road again in a couple of hours. i am relaxin and enjoying my time off from work. oh yea...now no one has an excuse to not come hang out with me since i live north now. high five to casce for making my day on mon....by cutting my cable bill in half....YIPEE.
so saucony was bought out by payless last week. saucony was getting up there....competing with brooks,asics,mizuno, and new balance. i think there quality is going to go way down now. guess will see.
hey conny now that i live closer to you, i will run with you. well i am going to sit back enjoy the gorgeous view i have and soak up the sun.
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| starting over |
[25 Jun 2007|09:11am] |
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i'm moving, finally....its been stressful. i am homeless for a week an a half....but i have things figured out. good thing is i go on vacation on wed.....yipee!!! i love my new place and cant wait to move in and start new memories. so i wil be moving all day today....hopefully it will stop raining.
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| Overweight - blue october |
[24 Jun 2007|09:32pm] |
i was driving out to casce's today and heard this song and it made me think.
Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long? (ha!)
I want to carry a piece of who I was before
So when I hit the wall, I really hit the wall
I want to tear away the death again
A whiter shade of fucking meth again
I want to stick to clues, I want to come unglued
I want to shape the world to fit the way you move
Oh, should I listen for a dress size?
I owned up, I've grown up, do you remember me?
I showed up and so what if I'm the used to be
I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry I was sorry
But I'm happy that you're happy
This is no longer about me
Trade rules, switch sides for your beautiful eyes
Let him be you through your beautiful cries
Let him hold you up so you can touch affordable skies
Live your life just like a dream
Without the pain of goodbyes
Goodbye!
Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long?
I been a drunk disrespectful little street punk
Unlock the back of my trunk
You see, you take this bat
And bash my head into the street again
No-ones around so I keep beating it
Pull my hair back, look me in the eye
There's a self-destructive meaning in the bleeding of a guy
It's the guilt of what reality has given me
Making sense of all mistakes and my stupidity
And when you're sick you seem to think
You've failed eternally
And that the people you let in are only crumbling
When you're sick of thinking life in this recovery
When my decision paved the road
That lies in front of me
So to my friends that even call but I don't call back
I want you deep inside my heart upon a hill
It seems to hide sometimes and run away and wonder
I'm really sick of saying sorry but I will
Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long?
But are we scared to take the ride?
Or dare to look inside?
I'm floating far away
I'm floating far away
I'm floating far away
I'm floating far away
I want to learn to walk with others as an equal
I want to treat the ones who love me with respect
I want to tell the world I'll give them all a piggyback
And try to take away my negative effect
I want to kiss the girl, I know I'll never lie again
I want to call my dad and tell him that I care
I want to let my best friend know
He saved my life a thousand times
Throughout the years he's been my friend
Who's always there
Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
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| finally |
[18 Jun 2007|07:13pm] |
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i found a place to live. i've been looking hard for weeks. thanks to kelly for helping find a place today...we went to 6 different places....she did all the talking and i just signed. i've been stressed out about this for weeks now. i thought i was going to be homeless because my move-out and move-in date dont match....huge thanks to rob for giving me a place to stay. i'll be up north, but i am finding out that i have more people to hang out with down south....i probably shouldve stayed, but i will be closer to kelly and of course rob. oh yea thanks to george for going with me last mon to try to find a place.
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| me n my fingers dont get along |
[17 May 2007|08:33pm] |
so two days ago i was moving stuff at runtex and bent my finger bad. so it was hurting and the doc checked it out today. i hyper-extended it and may have torn a ligament. so now my finger is in a splint.
today my boss said he is going to make it mandatory that i go back and finish school. i see his point, but i have to work and pay bills. he said there lots of people who do that...i was like i know and they dont have a life either. then he got back into the usual about me racing again.....i was like thanks for the long lecture dad. oh well....
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| .... |
[16 May 2007|01:31am] |
so i get to work early this morning to do the water and find out how short staffed we are. apparently people at runtex just make up there own schedule and show up whenever they want. i am so glad i work hard on scheduling people and accomodating them. i need out of this job. i was also accused of throwing important things away while cleaning the backyard and warehouse...i threw stuff away from 04f and 05. i cant win!!!
last night the storm woke me up and scared the hell out of me. i dont like thunder and hate lightning. i tossed and turned until it passed.
i also need to find a place to live real soon.
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| well good |
[15 May 2007|10:49pm] |
so today at work....i worked outside most of the day and it was hot. me and some co-workers cleaned the backyard. me and a buddy were lifting something heavy and he dropped his end causing my finger to extended in a way a finger shouldnt. my finger hurts like hell. i have been icing it all night. it is not swollen but hurts like hell. i called one of my doctor friends and he said it sounds like i might have torn a ligament. so i am calling the doc tomorrow if it still hurts to get xrays. its my pointer finger and man it hurts to type.
so i went on a run after work and had a shitty run. my hip flexor was killing me. my trainer said she would stretch it out tomorrow. i have a core workout tomorrow...looking foward to it.
so today i also listened to a friend who is having relationship issues...i give good advice to her because i am much like the other person. it was good hearing her side and made me think. it is funny that i am giving advice on the same thing i went through. i now fully understand....i hope that i am helping them out...because i dont want them to end up hating each other. its not good hating someone especially when you care about them and then you miss out on important things.
time to go to bed....i have to get up early and do the water on townlake...
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| thoughts.... |
[14 May 2007|04:47pm] |
why do people like to be around people that bring them down or treat them like crap? do they think they will change? why is it that some people give certain ones chance, after chance, after chance? i usually get one chance and when i blow it....i seem to not get another chance. i just dont understand and may never. i change things about me and am happier. i have to admit there is a void....life is about risks and chances. why cant people forgive and forget? why cant the past be the past and move foward? i thought i could do the same thing and let this bring me down or piss me off, of what i dont get. so i just thought i would rant and rave about it on here....and be done with it.
deep breath
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| hurt...blah blah |
[14 May 2007|09:04am] |
so i took sat off because i was suppose to have caiden. my sister gave me the run around on sat. i made plans...and she said her and caiden would come up on sun. i called her a few times yesterday and havent heard back from her. what can i do....nothing. i'm a lil sad i didnt get to see caiden.
today is my day off....i really dont have much to do....so it is probably going to be boring. i got a new cell phone...still trying to figure out how it works.
i have been doing alot of thinking lately. so much i want to say but i wont...sometimes things are just better left unsaid. letting go, forgive and forget....all such hard things.
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| death - mi familia |
[09 May 2007|09:55pm] |
so i found out that my great uncle died today. i called him tio...which means uncle. my great uncles are more like my uncles. i am close to all of my family members....i was raised in a tight knit family environment. my grandpa isnt taking it very well....im worried about him. i talked to him for a good while on the phone tonight. he was telling me about being close to my family and my sisters. its funny cuz my grandpa doesnt remember things, but he said you remember that time we went hunting and you and your sister were fighting and i yelled at you to get along....i remembered it was like yesterday....he said you never know when you will lose someone close to you so always let them know you love them. he said let things go and appreciate your family and close friends. my grandpa then touched on my dad. my dad and i used to be super close up until 4yrs ago...when he and my mom divorced. my grandpa says he hopes my dad will get close to all the family again. my grandpa said i hope i doesnt wait til i died to change his ways. i am sad....my tio and tia used to watch me when my parents were in college. my tio was my grandpa's youngest brother. i also found out that my grandpa's only sister....who i am the closest to is taking it really bad and is very ill. my grandparents said that everyone was asking about me and if i would make to the funeral. i am not sure if i will go or not....i dont do well at funerals....if i do go....my tia asked if i would walk with her and sit next to her...i dont think i could do that.
so to all my friends....i hope ya'll know i love ya'll
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| labor in the sun |
[08 May 2007|07:09am] |
so today i felt like marcus or maybe how marcus feels. i cleaned out runtexs back yard from 12-545...not long but it was fuckin hot. so marcus i give you props.
so on fri i get caiden til sunday...YIPEE!!!! i cant wait for me and dan to hang out with my lil punkies. hopefully we will have a play date with kaleb...maybe he can toughin up caiden. i am so excited to spend one on one time with him.
when i went out on the lake on sun....i clicked with someone. i took it with a grain of salt....she was flirting with me left and right....people had to point that out to me. it was nice to meet someone not from the club or myspace. i have never seen her at any of the gay bars. it was fun to be a smart ass to someone and then they be a smart ass right back. hopefully i will get to hang out with her again....
off to go for a run.
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| deep breath from a great view |
[07 May 2007|06:43pm] |
so today is my day off and been boring. i cleaned my casa, did the dishes, and did some laundry...boring i know. i finally ventured out for the day. i went for a quick run this afternoon....was feeling good....ran up mt.bonnell and paying for it now. i sat on a rock and took the view in. i sat and thought....took a few deep breaths and let go of somethings inside that i was still holding on. i actually felt like the chip off my shoulder about what i dont have, how things are unfair, how i lost things, how i try so hard to get things back...then it was off to meet the trainer. i had a good core workout today. we finished and i was asked are you tired and i opened my big mouth and said no that was pretty easy workout. so i had another circuit added in that kicked my butt....it felt good though.
now its time to watch some bball...
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| who are you to judge me.... |
[06 May 2007|09:10pm] |
dan and i went out on thurs and i bull moosed him....i felt bad so i chugged my beer too. i havent drank in over a week bc i have been on antibotics. after i chugged my beer i was responsible and only had one more after that bc i knew i had to drive us home.
sat dan and i went over to shams for the fight. i think de la hoya got robbed...he shouldve won that fight. i cant stand mayweather. sham like always cooked awesome and conny made some veggies that were incredible (high-five girl). after the fight dan said you want to go out and i was like...ummm i guess. so we went to cattle....where again i was responsible and so was dan....we had two beers and left. it was kinda boring, but it is always great to hang out with my boy.
today....i went to the lake with a group of lesbains....good times. it was overcast but it still was fun. i drank a lil and had a blast. i met lesbains i have never seen before and they were cool as hell. these girls dont go out to the bar which is cool....instead they have bbq, pool parties, poker night, go camping.....so i am looking foward to hanging out with them more. i think it will be a nice change of pace.
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| my gang....fight night |
[05 May 2007|03:50pm] |
so last night i didnt get off of work til 820...sucks. i called dan and he was like get your ass over here the gang is here. i was really tired but decided to go up there anyway. conny, marcus and kaleb were there and it is always great to see them. kaleb is cute as ever and a hoot...i love that kid. of course we were all acting stupid...good times. i had to drive storm to run an errand and he was cracking me up the whole way. we also saw a big snake in the road....i opened the car door to take a closer look at it and storm is all....hi snakey. it was kinda like old times at the cave....except casce was missing :(.
i had to be up early this morning....545am. i had to work a race in round rock. on my way to work i got the same pain in my hand and arm that i got right before i got the blisters on my thumb. i even have an upset stomach like i did last time too. i hope i dont get a relapse....i just got done taking my antibotics. oh well...guess ill see what happens.
i got off a lil early, which was nice. think i am going to take a nap before the fight tonight. i was going to go to canvas and watch a fashion show and the fight. i probably wont go....will probably go to a party instead.
time for a nap
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